SLOP BUCKET
Where opinion meets conviction
BREAKING
+++ Market Reacts To Reaction To Market +++ Everything You Need To Know In 47 Paragraphs +++ Influencer Discloses Partnership In Font Size 4 +++ BREAKING: Situation Continues To Be Situation +++ You Won't Believe What Happened Next (You Will) +++ Research Shows (Research Behind Paywall) +++ Crisis Continues, Same Experts Quoted +++ Roundup: Other People's Work, Collected +++ Boomers Confused By Thing They Invented +++ Person Exists Publicly, Discourse Ensues For 48 Hours +++ Tweet Becomes News, News Standard Lowered +++ New Study Contradicts Old Study, Both Still Cited +++ Man Does Thing, Internet Forms Committees +++ Self-Care Sunday Is Just Buying Things +++ Both Sides Presented, False Equivalence Achieved +++ Mindfulness Means Buying Mindfulness App +++ Cold Take Repackaged As Wisdom +++ Algorithm Decides Your Future, Algorithm Is 12 Lines +++ Hot Take Filed Before Facts Established +++ Neighbors Had No Comment, Comment Invented +++ Experts Warn About Thing, Decline To Name Thing +++ Wellness Guru's Advice: Give Wellness Guru Money +++ AI Solves Problem AI Created Last Quarter +++ Exception Proves Rule (That's Not What That Means) +++ Science Says (Link Goes To Press Release) +++ Lukewarm Take Presented As Controversial +++ Study Retracted, Headlines Remain +++ Correction: Everything Above The Correction +++ EXCLUSIVE: We Found Out Same Time As Everyone +++ Report: Thing Is Happening Somewhere To Someone +++ What You Need To Know (What We Need Clicks For) +++ We Asked 10 People And Called It A Trend +++ Multiple People Confirm (Multiple Means Two) +++ News Becomes Tweet, Context Casualties Expected +++ Local News Team Interviews Man Who Saw Thing +++ Report Claims (Report Unavailable For Review) +++ Thing Linked To Other Thing, Mechanism Unknown +++ Supporters Appear Exactly When Article Needs Quote +++ Generation Accused Of Trait Every Generation Has +++ New Diet Is Eating Disorder With Marketing Budget +++ Trend Piece Published After Trend Ended +++ Toxins Identified, Toxins Include Everything +++ Document Reveals (Document Still Classified) +++ Number Reaches Other Number, Significance Unclear +++ Poll Shows Numbers That Support Our Headline +++ Sources Familiar With The Matter Remain Conveniently Anonymous +++ Leaked Memo Says What Leaker Wanted It To Say +++ Question Raised, Question Never Answered +++ AI Does Thing, Experts Excited (Same Experts) +++ Deep Dive: Surface Scratched Thoroughly +++ Life Coach Has Successfully Coached Self Into Wealth +++ Correlation Discovered, Causation Strongly Implied +++ Woman Does Thing, Internet Discovers Opinions On Women +++ Superfood Declared, Evidence Forthcoming +++ Experts Disagree About Which Experts To Trust +++ JUST IN: Old News Repackaged With Urgency +++ Debate Rages, Minds Were Never Open +++ LIVE UPDATES: We're Refreshing Twitter +++ Thought Leader's Thoughts Led Nowhere +++ QUIZ: Find Out Which Thing You Are (Data Harvested) +++ EXPLAINER: Thing Explained For People Who Already Know +++ Study Confirms What You Already Believed +++ Why Everything You Knew Was Right All Along +++ App Does What Other App Did But Worse +++ DEVELOPING: Story Developed Hours Ago +++ Investigation Finds Investigators Found Things +++ Percentage Of People Do Thing, Margin Of Error Huge +++ Company Announces Thing, Buries Bad News In Same Release +++ Evidence Suggests (Evidence Is One Tweet) +++ Future Of Work Announced By People Who Don't Work +++ Innovation Announced, Innovation Is Layoffs +++ Timeline: Events Listed, No Conclusions Drawn +++ Editor's Note: We Got Caught +++ Here's Why That Matters (It Doesn't) +++ What Happened Next Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity (Temporarily) +++ Community Concerned About Concern Levels +++ What They Want You To Know But Framed Ominously +++ Update: Previous Update Was Wrong +++ RANKED: Subjective List Presented As Definitive +++ Disruption Disrupts People Who Can't Afford Disruption +++ Sources Say Something, Sources Won't Say What +++ What They Don't Want You To Know (They Don't Care) +++ Area Woman Exists, Internet Debates Whether She Should +++ Long Read Padded To Justify Long Read Label +++ Startup Disrupts Industry, Industry Was Fine +++ Study Finds Age Group Is Age Group +++ Data Indicates (Data Not Shown) +++ Tragedy Occurs, Brands See Opportunity +++ Spokesperson Declines Comment On Comments Already Made +++ Millennials Blamed For Industry Failing Millennials +++ Survey Finds People Have Opinions We Already Assumed +++ The Truth About The Thing (Truth Not Included) +++ Thing Happens, Hot Take Published Before Thing Finished +++ The Only Thing You Need To Know Plus 12 More Things +++ Tragedy Occurs, Thoughts And Prayers Deployed +++ AI Does Thing, Experts Concerned (Experts Sell AI) +++ Listicle: Content Chunked For Maximum Ad Loads +++ Opinion: Thing Is Good, Actually (Sponsored) +++ Stock Does Thing After Other Thing, Causation Assumed +++ Problem Identified, Solution Would Hurt Advertisers +++ Officials Say Words That Mean Nothing Specific +++ Internal Email Shows Someone Had Email +++ CEO Says Words, Stock Moves, Words Meant Nothing +++ New Restaurant Opens, Closes Before Review Published +++ Why Everything You Know Is Wrong, Click To Find Out +++ Company Denies Thing Nobody Accused Them Of +++ Studies Conflicting, Whichever Supports Narrative Wins +++ This Shocking Discovery Will Shock You (It Won't) +++ Tech Company Pivots To Whatever's Trending +++ Opinion: Thing Is Bad, Actually (Also Sponsored) +++ Anecdote Treated As Data, Data Ignored +++ Sources Spoke On Condition They Not Be Held Accountable +++ Investors Concerned About Concerns Investors Have +++ Gen Z Discovers Thing Millennials Discovered From Boomers +++ Local Man Has Opinion He Saw On TV +++ Critics Quoted For Balance, Dismissed In Final Paragraph +++ This Changes Everything (Nothing Will Change) +++ Single Person's Experience Becomes National Trend +++ Analysis: We Watched It Happen And Have Thoughts +++ Platform Adds Feature That Benefits Platform +++ The Real Reason Behind The Thing (We Made It Up) +++ Viral Post Goes Viral, Credited As Journalism +++ Traffic Expected, Commuters Somehow Surprised +++ Anonymous Source Confirms What We Already Wrote +++
+++ Market Reacts To Reaction To Market +++ Everything You Need To Know In 47 Paragraphs +++ Influencer Discloses Partnership In Font Size 4 +++ BREAKING: Situation Continues To Be Situation +++ You Won't Believe What Happened Next (You Will) +++ Research Shows (Research Behind Paywall) +++ Crisis Continues, Same Experts Quoted +++ Roundup: Other People's Work, Collected +++ Boomers Confused By Thing They Invented +++ Person Exists Publicly, Discourse Ensues For 48 Hours +++ Tweet Becomes News, News Standard Lowered +++ New Study Contradicts Old Study, Both Still Cited +++ Man Does Thing, Internet Forms Committees +++ Self-Care Sunday Is Just Buying Things +++ Both Sides Presented, False Equivalence Achieved +++ Mindfulness Means Buying Mindfulness App +++ Cold Take Repackaged As Wisdom +++ Algorithm Decides Your Future, Algorithm Is 12 Lines +++ Hot Take Filed Before Facts Established +++ Neighbors Had No Comment, Comment Invented +++ Experts Warn About Thing, Decline To Name Thing +++ Wellness Guru's Advice: Give Wellness Guru Money +++ AI Solves Problem AI Created Last Quarter +++ Exception Proves Rule (That's Not What That Means) +++ Science Says (Link Goes To Press Release) +++ Lukewarm Take Presented As Controversial +++ Study Retracted, Headlines Remain +++ Correction: Everything Above The Correction +++ EXCLUSIVE: We Found Out Same Time As Everyone +++ Report: Thing Is Happening Somewhere To Someone +++ What You Need To Know (What We Need Clicks For) +++ We Asked 10 People And Called It A Trend +++ Multiple People Confirm (Multiple Means Two) +++ News Becomes Tweet, Context Casualties Expected +++ Local News Team Interviews Man Who Saw Thing +++ Report Claims (Report Unavailable For Review) +++ Thing Linked To Other Thing, Mechanism Unknown +++ Supporters Appear Exactly When Article Needs Quote +++ Generation Accused Of Trait Every Generation Has +++ New Diet Is Eating Disorder With Marketing Budget +++ Trend Piece Published After Trend Ended +++ Toxins Identified, Toxins Include Everything +++ Document Reveals (Document Still Classified) +++ Number Reaches Other Number, Significance Unclear +++ Poll Shows Numbers That Support Our Headline +++ Sources Familiar With The Matter Remain Conveniently Anonymous +++ Leaked Memo Says What Leaker Wanted It To Say +++ Question Raised, Question Never Answered +++ AI Does Thing, Experts Excited (Same Experts) +++ Deep Dive: Surface Scratched Thoroughly +++ Life Coach Has Successfully Coached Self Into Wealth +++ Correlation Discovered, Causation Strongly Implied +++ Woman Does Thing, Internet Discovers Opinions On Women +++ Superfood Declared, Evidence Forthcoming +++ Experts Disagree About Which Experts To Trust +++ JUST IN: Old News Repackaged With Urgency +++ Debate Rages, Minds Were Never Open +++ LIVE UPDATES: We're Refreshing Twitter +++ Thought Leader's Thoughts Led Nowhere +++ QUIZ: Find Out Which Thing You Are (Data Harvested) +++ EXPLAINER: Thing Explained For People Who Already Know +++ Study Confirms What You Already Believed +++ Why Everything You Knew Was Right All Along +++ App Does What Other App Did But Worse +++ DEVELOPING: Story Developed Hours Ago +++ Investigation Finds Investigators Found Things +++ Percentage Of People Do Thing, Margin Of Error Huge +++ Company Announces Thing, Buries Bad News In Same Release +++ Evidence Suggests (Evidence Is One Tweet) +++ Future Of Work Announced By People Who Don't Work +++ Innovation Announced, Innovation Is Layoffs +++ Timeline: Events Listed, No Conclusions Drawn +++ Editor's Note: We Got Caught +++ Here's Why That Matters (It Doesn't) +++ What Happened Next Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity (Temporarily) +++ Community Concerned About Concern Levels +++ What They Want You To Know But Framed Ominously +++ Update: Previous Update Was Wrong +++ RANKED: Subjective List Presented As Definitive +++ Disruption Disrupts People Who Can't Afford Disruption +++ Sources Say Something, Sources Won't Say What +++ What They Don't Want You To Know (They Don't Care) +++ Area Woman Exists, Internet Debates Whether She Should +++ Long Read Padded To Justify Long Read Label +++ Startup Disrupts Industry, Industry Was Fine +++ Study Finds Age Group Is Age Group +++ Data Indicates (Data Not Shown) +++ Tragedy Occurs, Brands See Opportunity +++ Spokesperson Declines Comment On Comments Already Made +++ Millennials Blamed For Industry Failing Millennials +++ Survey Finds People Have Opinions We Already Assumed +++ The Truth About The Thing (Truth Not Included) +++ Thing Happens, Hot Take Published Before Thing Finished +++ The Only Thing You Need To Know Plus 12 More Things +++ Tragedy Occurs, Thoughts And Prayers Deployed +++ AI Does Thing, Experts Concerned (Experts Sell AI) +++ Listicle: Content Chunked For Maximum Ad Loads +++ Opinion: Thing Is Good, Actually (Sponsored) +++ Stock Does Thing After Other Thing, Causation Assumed +++ Problem Identified, Solution Would Hurt Advertisers +++ Officials Say Words That Mean Nothing Specific +++ Internal Email Shows Someone Had Email +++ CEO Says Words, Stock Moves, Words Meant Nothing +++ New Restaurant Opens, Closes Before Review Published +++ Why Everything You Know Is Wrong, Click To Find Out +++ Company Denies Thing Nobody Accused Them Of +++ Studies Conflicting, Whichever Supports Narrative Wins +++ This Shocking Discovery Will Shock You (It Won't) +++ Tech Company Pivots To Whatever's Trending +++ Opinion: Thing Is Bad, Actually (Also Sponsored) +++ Anecdote Treated As Data, Data Ignored +++ Sources Spoke On Condition They Not Be Held Accountable +++ Investors Concerned About Concerns Investors Have +++ Gen Z Discovers Thing Millennials Discovered From Boomers +++ Local Man Has Opinion He Saw On TV +++ Critics Quoted For Balance, Dismissed In Final Paragraph +++ This Changes Everything (Nothing Will Change) +++ Single Person's Experience Becomes National Trend +++ Analysis: We Watched It Happen And Have Thoughts +++ Platform Adds Feature That Benefits Platform +++ The Real Reason Behind The Thing (We Made It Up) +++ Viral Post Goes Viral, Credited As Journalism +++ Traffic Expected, Commuters Somehow Surprised +++ Anonymous Source Confirms What We Already Wrote +++
Advertise With Slop Bucket
Why on earth would you want to do that?
Our Audience
Slop Bucket reaches tens of people monthly. Our audience demographics include:
- People who clicked the wrong link
- Bots (so many bots)
- The person who built this website, checking if it still works
- You, right now, for some reason
- Your mom, if you sent her the link to be supportive
Advertising Opportunities
Banner Ads
Place your 468x60 banner at the top of our pages, where it will be ignored by 100% of visitors. Our click-through rate is technically not zero, but only because someone once missed the close button.
Rate: Whatever you think is fair. We're not picky.
Sponsored Content
We will write an article about your product with the same journalistic rigor we apply to everything else, which is none. Your brand will be associated with ours, which is a threat.
Rate: More than the banner ads.
Naming Rights
For the right price, we'll rename the entire website after your company. "The Acme Corporation Slop Bucket" has a ring to it. Your shareholders will have questions.
Rate: Enough to make this worth explaining to your board.
Why Advertise Here?
Great question. We've been asking ourselves the same thing. Here are some reasons that are technically true:
- Your ad will face virtually no competition
- Our audience is extremely niche (bewildered)
- We have complete editorial independence (no one tells us what to do because no one is watching)
- Your competitors aren't advertising here (they have better judgment)
Testimonials
"I didn't know this website existed until you emailed me about advertising rates."
"Please remove me from this mailing list."
Contact Our Sales Team
Our advertising sales team consists of whoever checks the email, which is no one, regularly. For fastest response, try shouting into the void and hoping it echoes back.
For serious inquiries (we cannot imagine what those would be), please understand that "serious" is relative and we reserve the right to be amused.
Slop Bucket Advertising: Reach Dozens, Confuse Millions